Authenticity on social media

About a year ago I was banned from a blog that I used to really enjoy. About two weeks ago, all of a sudden posts from the new version of this blog started popping up on my feed, so voila, I am unblocked.

I had been banned with many others when people started questioning some things about the author and her husband. Things like their names, whether one of them had changed their last name and then posted on the genealogy of the changed name, and a book on Amazon authored by the blogger’s husband that appeared to have reviews written by the husband.

These things could have all been explained, people change their names, genealogy is something that you can be interested in no matter who raised you, and there could have been a perfectly good explanation for the reviews.  Someone commented on another blog that we were coming to the anniversary of this event and it got me thinking about all of this again.

I don’t think that we have to put everything out there in our blogging/instagram persona…..but if you build a loyal readership & following and they find out something that you have deliberately left out of your social media life, you better believe people will want an explanation. You can choose to admit things, talk to your readers, or you can do what this particular blog did and ban everyone that read the discussion unfolding on other websites like GOMI (and another blog that I won’t disclose to protect them).  The blog now is really just images, they disabled the comment ability. I know that because I can see it again now.

I have an amazing relationship with my fiancé, I am so happy and healthy with him in my life, but I am divorced and have an ex-husband. I was previously married for 2 years in my mid-twenties (I will be 32 in January), and it just didn’t work out. If my blog was all about my happy marriage and then my readers found out I had been divorced, and instead of just explaining a little bit, I banned everyone that asked about it…that would kinda be like what happened with this blog.

In any case, it was a big lesson/learning experience for me and should be something that we all keep in mind as we gain followers blogging or instagramming. We can and should all have our private lives BUT if your loyal followers find out something about you that directly contradicts who you present to the world, then you have to explain and draw those people back in OR probably just shut it down. The available version of the blog that I used to enjoy is really just a shell of its former self. I might not even continue to follow it. I get authors deleting rude/hurtful comments, but that particular blog used to always have a lot of sometimes interesting conversation.

Speaking of GOMI…..I used to have some insta rage over some accounts that are just so perfect, so put together. I was jealous. I actually posted twice on GOMI for one particular blog when I was not happy with myself. I felt so bad- I didn’t know her and her friends, I just know what I saw on instagram and her blog and thought that gave me the right to judge her. I actually emailed her to apologize and will never post on GOMI again. I actually go out of my way to really support everyone that I come in social media contact with now because of some of the things on GOMI. Going on GOMI is a bit of a gut check if you have never checked it out. There is so much rage out there against some bloggers. Why not just stop reading their blog? How can you hate someone so much that you don’t actually know in real life? By posting on GOMI, I betrayed who I want to be.

Ok, thats all from me today. Just uhhhh lets be nice to each other, don’t talk trash about each other on GOMI, celebrate each other instead of putting each other down BUT if you have a dirty secret that you are hiding and we all find out, either explain or shut it down…your explanation could just be that its painful to talk about, maybe someday. Please don’t just block your entire readership k? End rant.

c/o Mon


Prep Craze: Flannel Shirts

Ok folks….the way some of the fashion bloggers I follow have been talking up flannel this year you would think this new trend came straight out of NYFW….maybe it did….I doubt it. My father and grandfather wore flannel as a uniform from October to April every year. It was what my dad threw on to get wood for the stove, and what my mom wore over turtlenecks in the winter. My grandparents owned a farm in Maine so lots of outdoor work even in the cold. There were flannel shirts, shirts that were insulated with long underwear, flannel lined with quilting, flannel lined jeans, flannel hats with the ear flaps…and us kids all had flannel shirts, pajamas, nighties, shorts, and of course sheets. I had a set of mocha flannel sheets that came out in the fall and I would have my mother wash and dry them in the same day so I didn’t have to use other sheets 🙂

This year, flannel shirts seem to be on everyone’s fall essential lists, in everyone’s instagram posts. This was all well and good until I clicked on a particular blogger’s link to their flannel shirt and found out that it was $168… was under a sweater, under a Barbour…..only the collar and tails of this shirt were showing…..$168. Was it free? I don’t know, I didn’t see the tell tale c/o after it.

Guys, please don’t spend that much on a flannel. If you spend that much, you are doing it wrong. These shirts are soft on dry chapped skin in the winter, and I love them, but if you are paying that much for one, it should like….also massage your shoulders or something. These are casual, comfy shirts…save that money for a nice dress shirt for an upcoming occasion/interview, not on a flannel. Oh and just an FYI, not all plaid shirts are flannel, and not all flannel shirts are plaid 😉

Here is my small collection of flannels:FullSizeRender-7

Top two shirts are from Old Navy Classic Flannel. They are all less than $30. They are very lightweight, which some people will like, some people won’t. They fit me ok, but the button over my chest kinda pulls which is crappy, but going up a size would make it too big. That being said, for the price, they are awesome under sweaters and under vests. A lot of us are wearing these shirts like that anyway.

Third one down was a present from my sister, the Eddie Bauer Stine’s Favorite Flannel Shirt. These fit me perfectly, they are on sale right now for $45, some great colors (I love the Atlantic!), and they are a little more substantial than the Old Navy shirts.

Finally, the bottom one in one of my favorite plaids, blackwatch, is the LLBean Scotch Plaid Shirt, Slightly Fitted. They are $44.95, great price for the quality. They also have this shirt in a relaxed fit. Pay attention to the size chart for LLBean because I go down a size for their clothing. This is a heavier weight shirt, closer to a true old school flannel shirt. I will definitely get more of these in future years.

Oh! Here is the J Crew Flannel Shirt I mentioned earlier. Its from the Thomas Mason for J Crew collection, so I guess if you are into that, then maybe $168 isn’t bad. J Crew does have other flannel shirts in the $80s, Orvis clocks in at $79. J Crew Factory have the Factory classic button down in flannel for $41.50, but a bunch of colors are backordered already.

Flannel came from the British Isles, worn by people who worked outside and wore these to stay warm in the rough weather often found in that area. If all you want flannel shirts for is to wear under a sweater or a vest, go cheap and lightweight, better for your wallet and your body temp if you work inside.

Annnnd to end this prep craze post, here is a beautiful pic of the Nashua River today from my trail run with the pup. Such a nice afternoon run.


Happy Wednesday everyone! We are almost through the work week to the Columbus Day weekend!!

Signature 2