Authenticity on social media

About a year ago I was banned from a blog that I used to really enjoy. About two weeks ago, all of a sudden posts from the new version of this blog started popping up on my feed, so voila, I am unblocked.

I had been banned with many others when people started questioning some things about the author and her husband. Things like their names, whether one of them had changed their last name and then posted on the genealogy of the changed name, and a book on Amazon authored by the blogger’s husband that appeared to have reviews written by the husband.

These things could have all been explained, people change their names, genealogy is something that you can be interested in no matter who raised you, and there could have been a perfectly good explanation for the reviews.  Someone commented on another blog that we were coming to the anniversary of this event and it got me thinking about all of this again.

I don’t think that we have to put everything out there in our blogging/instagram persona…..but if you build a loyal readership & following and they find out something that you have deliberately left out of your social media life, you better believe people will want an explanation. You can choose to admit things, talk to your readers, or you can do what this particular blog did and ban everyone that read the discussion unfolding on other websites like GOMI (and another blog that I won’t disclose to protect them).  The blog now is really just images, they disabled the comment ability. I know that because I can see it again now.

I have an amazing relationship with my fiancé, I am so happy and healthy with him in my life, but I am divorced and have an ex-husband. I was previously married for 2 years in my mid-twenties (I will be 32 in January), and it just didn’t work out. If my blog was all about my happy marriage and then my readers found out I had been divorced, and instead of just explaining a little bit, I banned everyone that asked about it…that would kinda be like what happened with this blog.

In any case, it was a big lesson/learning experience for me and should be something that we all keep in mind as we gain followers blogging or instagramming. We can and should all have our private lives BUT if your loyal followers find out something about you that directly contradicts who you present to the world, then you have to explain and draw those people back in OR probably just shut it down. The available version of the blog that I used to enjoy is really just a shell of its former self. I might not even continue to follow it. I get authors deleting rude/hurtful comments, but that particular blog used to always have a lot of sometimes interesting conversation.

Speaking of GOMI…..I used to have some insta rage over some accounts that are just so perfect, so put together. I was jealous. I actually posted twice on GOMI for one particular blog when I was not happy with myself. I felt so bad- I didn’t know her and her friends, I just know what I saw on instagram and her blog and thought that gave me the right to judge her. I actually emailed her to apologize and will never post on GOMI again. I actually go out of my way to really support everyone that I come in social media contact with now because of some of the things on GOMI. Going on GOMI is a bit of a gut check if you have never checked it out. There is so much rage out there against some bloggers. Why not just stop reading their blog? How can you hate someone so much that you don’t actually know in real life? By posting on GOMI, I betrayed who I want to be.

Ok, thats all from me today. Just uhhhh lets be nice to each other, don’t talk trash about each other on GOMI, celebrate each other instead of putting each other down BUT if you have a dirty secret that you are hiding and we all find out, either explain or shut it down…your explanation could just be that its painful to talk about, maybe someday. Please don’t just block your entire readership k? End rant.

c/o Mon


Holiday Weekend Finds

I hiked on Black Friday…..but I did purchase a few things over the weekend 🙂 I got something from Lilly Pulitzer for my mom and got some free gifts for purchasing over the weekend…might just give her the free gifts too though because it’s all nice and wrapped up right now in tissue paper. I don’t want to disrupt by messing with the free gifts. Not going to put what I got her on here just in case she looks, but lets just say, my Floridian mama has fabulous taste in Lilly- she likes Elsa tops and the tshirt dresses!

I did some other online shopping for family and did grab a couple little items for myself….

  1. This lovely bracelet from Kiel James Patrick- Anchor Bracelet. KJP was 25% off this past weekend, love it. This bracelet will go with a lot of my clothing as it has the lighter leather AND darker leather. Can’t wait to see it. IMG_2270
  2. This beautiful scarf from Equestrianista- Tartan Plaid Infinity Scarf. Equestrianista also did a sale this past weekend and I have been eyeing this scarf! I love the mixed plaid patterns and the color scheme will hopefully compliment my red hair!Tartan_Plaid_Infinity_Scarf_grande
  3. These flats from Talbots- Georgina Suede Embroidered Flats. I love these because smoking slippers are so expensive at some places but these were 40% off!! I got the car/indigo flats that have a super cute scene with the woodie/tree on top driving on a white path. Only snag here, even though its in the name of the flats, I was looking at all the different ones and it kinda didn’t register that they were suede. Some of their other Georgina flats are in wool….which is more what I would want. Suede is not so great for Massachusetts. These might go back, we shall see. Sorry the image isn’t great- got it from the website! IMG_2271

There were some great sales this past weekend. Lilly girls are all really waiting for their big sale in January, but the gifts can be fun. Honestly it can be hard with all these deals to corral the spending, but we are saving for our wedding and a house in the very near future. It was interesting that these sales really started last week like before Thursday and some have continued through tonight! The emails from some companies were pretty much daily. Did anyone else feel like it was a little much this year? I don’t know.

Anyways, I hope you all got some deals this past weekend through yesterday…or today…speaking of today… was Giving Tuesday! My cousin was recently diagnosed with DCIS (type of breast cancer), and has undergone a lumpectomy and has been traveling from where she lives out in Wyoming to Sloane Kettering Memorial in NY for treatment. Her sister set up a Go Fund Me for her to help with expenses and so that will be my donation for Giving Tuesday. Their mom, one of my mom’s first cousins, died from breast cancer when she was just 44, so her daughters are not messing around with treatment, thank god. She is doing well but has a long road ahead!

Anyone find anything good over the long weekend in the midst of these sales? Hear about any good Giving Tuesday stories? Share in comments!

Signature 2